Those Punny Teetotallers

Many thanks to Liz Covart for sharing the link to a collection of temperance jokes, puns, and riddles. The folks at Mental_Floss, posted 31 selections from John William Kirton’s 1867 book, One Thousand Temperance Anecdotes, Jokes, Riddles, Puns, and Smart Sayings. The hilarious slights against drinkers and drunkards alike are bound to make your night (or make you want a drink). The added “BurnMeter” really ties the whole thing together.

The temperance movement was also known for its uplifting artwork.

Some personal favorites include:

“Why is a drunkard like a tanner? Because he soaks his hide.”


“If a toper and a gallon of whisky were left together, which would be drunk first?”

This is actually pretty good.

And finally, “Archbishop Wately once asked – ‘If the Devil lost his tail, where would he go for a fresh one?’
‘To a gin-shop, for they retail all kinds of spirits!'”

Those temperance cats really knew how to work a crowd.

For the full highlighted list, click here: “31 Temperance Movement Jokes for Teetoallers to Zing Drunkards”


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